Son, right now, the love you know best is mine. I can be the most forgiving, soft hearted, and silly person at times however I am also your disciplinarian and you leave me no choice to rule with an iron fist for your own good. I have my reasons – honestly, I do.

Some day, you are going to be ready to date. Lord, help us all.  No, seriously – you’re going to meet your fair share of people. They will come in to your life at different times for different reasons. You can’t marry them all, son. Keep your chin up and your chest out through the fun and through the hard knocks because at some point, you won’t be ready, but you’ll fall in love. I can only imagine what an extraordinary woman it will take to make you feel helpless. After all, that’s what love is. This helpless feeling that comes over you and makes you more aware of another person than you are of yourself. The way you feel about me right now – the way you feel as if you couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to hurt me, your mom? You’ll feel that a million times over when this woman crash slams into your life. Nothing will ever be the same after she so dares to take hold of your soul in such a way that you just won’t be able to figure out how you ever lived without her.

Do me a favor son, stop for a moment in time when this blessing comes upon you and remember all the heartache and grief I gave you growing up. You’ll know it’s your time to be that man I have worked so hard to help you see in the mirror. You’re half way there already, now. The rest, I fear, is up to you. This woman will be everything you ever dreamed of – you may even so much as desire to share the rest of your life with her. This kind of love doesn’t come around more than once – for those that experience it twice are extraordinarily blessed. You’ll need to be strong as I know any woman who will be worthy of capturing your heart will be strong, too. Understand that in order to be the complimentary half in a successful relationship – you will never be equals in all things, she will be good at things you are not – admire her for this as she will admire you the same for being good at things she is not. Whomever said a woman and a man have to be equal will never understand that we are made to compliment each other’s strengths and weaknesses. A strong woman needs a stronger man than she in order to be a virtuous woman. A virtuous woman will be submissive only if you do not expect her to do my job – my job was to raise you to be more than that – she should never have to rule you with an iron fist, nor you her. Do not cheat, do not lie, do not think for one moment what you do in the dark will not come to the light. A good man is honest and true – and even if you are not, chin up and chest out so you’ll mean it when you fall to your knees in front of your virtuous woman to ask for her forgiveness.

Virtous Woman – Proverbs 31
¹⁰An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
¹¹The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
¹²She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.

I will tell you a secret about a strong, virtuous woman – as long as you are filling your own shoes as the man in the relationship, (your role being the protector, the provider, the lover who is willing to strike down anyone or anything that threatens yours putting her above all else except God) then a strong, virtuous woman will gladly step next to and sometimes even behind you basking in her faith in you. Here is when it gets rough – when you are not filling this role, a strong woman will step right up and be all those things for you and your family.  Remember though son, she’s not your Momma – she’s your woman; let me make this very clear to you – when you’re leaving a void in your lives it will be second nature to her to be all things you’re not which will threaten your ego.  This is a choice YOU will be making for y’all – not her. You’ve been raised by a strong woman – when you leave me to start your life, I expect you to keep your feet firmly planted in those shoes of yours so my daughter never has to, unless it’s to compliment you briefly when you are in need.

The moral of this story – I love you forever, son, and whomever you choose will love you forever too so long as you never force her to fill your or my shoes for too very long.

Love,
Mom